[11760] in APO-L
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daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Gerald A. Schroeder)
Mon Mar 27 23:23:09 1995
Date: Mon, 27 Mar 1995 19:50:12 -0500
Reply-To: "Gerald A. Schroeder" <gschroed@CAPACCESS.ORG>
From: "Gerald A. Schroeder" <gschroed@CAPACCESS.ORG>
To: Multiple recipients of list APO-L <APO-L%PURCCVM.BITNET@mitvma.mit.edu>
Lately, especially before the National Convention, there were some
discussions about controversial issues on this net. Some folks suggested
that these shouldn't occur. Others were offended by real or perceived
"flames." Some suggested these kinds of conversations shouldn't take
place at all.
Speaking only personally, I believe one of the advantages of this list is
such discussions. While I didn't always agree with *how* things were
said, discussions are the way people understand each others feelings and
positions. Who knows, sometimes differences may even be resolved -- or at
least the gap narrowed.
Nevertheless, I ran across an article in the business section of today's
Washington Post that contained some advice on ways to "extinguish flame
throwing" on email. I think the "flames" were the real problem we saw in
these discussions, not the topics discussed because we must communicate
even when we disagree. So I thought I'd share a few of the Post's
suggestions:
1. Know your recipient. Different people have different ideas of what is
acceptable. Find out and respect each person's wishes. Avoid sarcasmn
unless you're sure it will work, and think very carefully before using
email to express anger.
2. Be careful about your use of irony or even some forms of humor, which
can be misinterpreted. Unlike face-to-face meetings or phone
conversations, there are no visual or oral cues to provide a sense of what
is going on.
3. Exercise good taste. An email account is not a license to abuse or
insult people. Be respectful. (Should be easy for APO brothers.)
With these guidelines, we should be able to discuss any issue of concern
to our Fraternity or any of its members. Who knows, each of us might even
learn some things. So, I defer to the system operator, but enjoy
*flameless* and fraternal discussions of issues -- and I hope this little
tidbit from the newspaper helps us to have meaningful, respectful, and
friendly discussions. Of course, it also helps if each of us genuinely
tries to listen and understand the feelings of others *before* formulating
a response.
As for me, I'm now going to email my son, who himself is a college
student. Seems we only hear from him when he needs money!! :)
Jerry Schroeder
Immediate Past National President
Alpha Phi Omega
