[15540] in APO-L
All-male, co-ed, decisions to be made...
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Lawrence N. Labell)
Wed Nov 13 12:31:54 1996
Date: Wed, 13 Nov 1996 08:31:18 -0500
Reply-To: "Lawrence N. Labell" <lnlabell@BRONZE.LCS.MIT.EDU>
From: "Lawrence N. Labell" <lnlabell@BRONZE.LCS.MIT.EDU>
To: Multiple recipients of list APO-L <APO-L@VM.CC.PURDUE.EDU>
I've been on both sides of the issue of whether all-male chapters should
be allowed to remain all-male in my time in the fraternity. As I
approach the tenth anniversary of my first contact with the fraternity
(at a co-ed chapter)...(I shudder a bit when I realize it's been that
long!)...I can remember active days, staff days, sectional chair days,
being a pledge, an officer, and an alumni staff member. There were
some times when I insisted that all-male chapters needed to wake up and
smell the coffee of the (80s/90s), and there were more times that I
insisted that all-male chapters worked well and had every right to stay
that way...and that's the position I took during the time I represented
them in any way as a chair or staff member.
Now my life is a bit different, and I am busily worrying about other
aspects of my life more than I have been thinking about the fraternity.
(Who am I kidding - this is the least active I've been in ten years!)
Yet this issue (or at least this kind of question) has come up in a
completely different area of my life - my religious observance.
As most of you know, Judaism has my different "movements", sub-groupings
of differing philosophies within the basic set of beliefs and practices.
One movement I have been involved with over the last couple of years is
the Orthodox movement. Under Orthodox philosophy, there must be a
complete separation between men and women when praying (and some carry
that separation further into communal meals and other community things).
The men always lead the "davening" as it is called, and the men are (for
the most part) the only ones who participate in front. This struck me
as odd at first, but I grew to accept it, thinking "Who am I (as a man)
to dictate for women? If they accept it enough to be here, then how
can it be wrong?" I still believe that. However, I am getting married
in less than a year, and I will (god willing) soon have children of my
own. Some of them may very well be daughters.
I want my daughters to have fully equal opportunities in all aspects of
their lives. This has been the major push for my fiance and I to choose
a synagogue and a movement with a more "egalitarian" philosophy. I do
not condemn the Orthodox movement for its stand on this issue, but I can
not subscribe to it, either. This works in Judaism, but it does not
work in APO, however.
A big difference in what I have been discussing and the all-male/co-ed
issue in APO is that people can not simply choose another chapter, and
the fraternity does not have that release. The fraternity made this
agreement when I was but 10 years old, before many of the current staff
even started school at all, and before some of the actives were even
born. How can we be held to this? On the other hand, we all joined
into the whole package when we joined...how can we tear it down? But we
must decide, we can not do nothing. If we stand in the middle of the
street, not choosing one curb of the other, we risk getting creamed by
cross traffic.
I applaud the authors (Lee Correll, et al) of R-5 through R-8. We cheat
ourselves by ducking the issue. Ducking does not save us from division
and in-fighting. It merely buries it, so that it can surface later. We
must decide.
So, you may ask, what do I think, now? What should the fraternity
choose, to uphold the agreement or abolish it? I won't tell you-it's
not for me to decide. I'm nowhere near involved enough right now, but
more importantly, I am not an active member...Whatever you choose will
be right.
YiLFS,
Larry Labell
Advisor, Alumn, & Life Member
