[17729] in APO-L
From a Transfer Brother.....
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Ansley Buck)
Sun Nov 23 07:26:44 1997
Date: Sun, 23 Nov 1997 07:25:03 -0500
Reply-To: APOgirl@AOL.COM
From: Ansley Buck <APOgirl@AOL.COM>
To: Multiple recipients of list APO-L <APO-L@VM.CC.PURDUE.EDU>
Lately, I've been reading a lot of the posts about transfer brothers, and how
a chapter should deal with this situation. I know that this isn't an easy
situation, for I am a transfer brother that came in to a new school this
year. Infact, I am the brother that transferred into Delta Iota (from which
the original post about transfers was about). I think it's time I said a
little something about having to transfer.
My name is Ansley Buck, and I pledged in the fall of 1996 at Delta Kappa
(Emory University). I was active within the chapter, coordinated a sevice
project, and attended Nationals and Sectionals. APO had given me the best
friends and brothers that a person could have, and a sense of belonging
somewhere. Last spring, however, I learned that I would be transferring to a
new school. Fortunately, I knew some brothers in Delta Iota and was looking
forward to transferring in and getting to know more brothers. When I got to
my new school, though, things weren't so simple.
The executive board of my new chapter thought it would be best if I went
through rush week as a "rushee" (they knew I was a bro, but being on the
other side would allow me to meet the brothers more). I was cool with this
and got to meet the brothers. After the next chapter meeting, where the
brothers outside of the exec board said they liked me, I was approached by a
brother about whether or not there was a "problem" with me and my old
chapter. I later learned that the "problem" was my wanting to go on and
transfer in. This I viewed as a misunderstanding, and went on my way with
things. I was given a big brother the night of the pledge induction, and was
told that I would become an active brother when something was put into the
by-laws and when I went through a transfer membership education (TME), which
would be decided later.
I few days ago, and this will be news to many brothers, I decided not to
affiliate with this chapter for a number of reasons. The TME hasn't been
decided and there is still nothing in the by-laws. When this will happen is
unknown since there are four other by-law changes before this one, and this
one can't be formed until the TME is decided. I still cannot have a little
brother and can't vote. We initiated 10 new brothers on Friday night, all of
whom will have the rights of an active brother. Finally, I'm missing a sense
of brotherhood. I'm welcome at this chapter's service projects, events,
meetings, etc.., but in a way, I don't feel like a brother anymore. I know
that I am the one choosing not to affiliate, and let me tell you that this is
the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I don't know if it's the right
one. For me, it's like giving up a part of APO. Maybe, at some point in the
future, I will choose to affiliate. Until then, I will continue being a
brother in Alpha Phi Omega, belonging to the organization, but not to a
chapter.
I know this is a lot to hear, and maybe you don't understand what I've been
through this semester. For chapters facing this situation, consider
accepting the brother on face. Transferring into a new school isn't easy;
transferring into a new chapter shouldn't be harder. The brotherhood in a
chapter can be there to help that transfer. Also, consider whether or not it
would be worth losing a brother by constructing a "program" for them to go
through.
In L, F, and S,
- Ansley Buck
Former Delta Kappa brother
APO brother for life
