[15489] in APO-L
Re: I am HOT!! (regarding all-male chapter v. co-ed)
daemon@ATHENA.MIT.EDU (Karmic Debris)
Tue Nov 12 12:06:53 1996
Date: Tue, 12 Nov 1996 06:48:27 -0500
Reply-To: Karmic Debris <mmccaffrey@DELTA.IS.TCU.EDU>
From: Karmic Debris <mmccaffrey@DELTA.IS.TCU.EDU>
To: Multiple recipients of list APO-L <APO-L@VM.CC.PURDUE.EDU>
In-Reply-To: <01IBN4ZOC33M00ANHM@DELTA.IS.TCU.EDU>
In response to Jason Jones' comments regarding:
1) Tradition of all-male chapters,
2) he wouldn't have pledged a co-ed chptr b/c the bonds aren't as
tight.
3) Leave the all-males alone, they didn't do anything to you.
4) Out to get all-males.
That was just a synopsis of his points, and admittedly VERY brief. If
you read his post with the same subject head, you know what he was
talking about, and I hope I've faithfully expressed what he meant.
OK, Here's what I've got to say:
1) OK, so the all-male chapters were founded on a tradition of
being men only? Why is tradition ALONE any reason t do anything??? When
the reasons behind something have been so lost that the only thing you
remember is simply, "Well, it's just always been done this way." then it
is time to quit resisting change in the face of alternatives which have
REAL reasons to back them up.
Let's make a new analogy out of it: Suppose APO had been founded
as all-white, and in 1976, went all-races, instead of all-gender. And a
chapter wanted to stay all-white, as you say, out of it's rich
tradition. Would you still support it? I doubt you would, and neither
would I.
2) you don't think the bonds would be as tight at a co-ed
chapter? have you been a Brother at a co-ed chapter? now you'd be the
first to tell me that I don't understand the all-male chapters b/c I
haven't been there, so let me be the first to tell you that you don't
understand the Brotherhood at co-ed chapters.
My BEST friend inthe entire world is a Brother of mine. This
Brother knows me better than my own mother or father, better than any
girlfriend I've ever had. This Brother has been there for me when I have
needed someone. This Brother has kept my confidences on more things
than I can remember, and vice versa. This Brother knows what I'm
thinking, often before I even do, and vice versa.
This Brother's name is Sandra Reardon; she's a woman.
So don't tell me the bonds can't be as tight when the fact is, I
don't think you've ever even tried.
And to answer the "When Harry Met Sally..." question: yes, they
can be just friends, because we have.
Yeah, i have tight male brothers, too, bbut my points is that
brotherhood is not gender specific.
And while I'm close to the topic: I believe in calling ALL our
members Brothers, not "brothers and sisters." but that is for another time.
3) No, the all-male chapters did not do anything to the co-eds;
but they are doing an injustice to the women on their campuses who want
to join Alpha Phi Omega. In other words, they are telling those women
something similar to, "No, you can't be our Brother, you're not good
enough, you're JUST a woman."
Why is that? because any time you say to someone "this person
can join, but you can't" you are saying that they are inferior,
subordinate, not good enough.
I don't know how to make that any plainer.
4) Out to get the all-males?? No one that I know of is "out to
get" the all-males. I, for one, just want to improve the fraternity
nationwide ans bringall of its chapters into accordance with what I see as
and how I interpret our core principles. Others may interpret them in
other ways, and that is where the disagreement probably is.
--Mike McCaffrey
Gamma Kappa Chptr President, F'96
Texas Christian University
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